Crackers Don't Fix Problems (and neither does cheese)

Instead of writing yesterday, I decided to snack - four cheese wedges and a dozen crackers.  Of course during my mini-binge I was thinking about what I was doing.  Cracker after cracker - I couldn't stop.  I just kept spreading on the cheese and devouring the crackers.  Why?  Last week I had a near perfect week - I stayed within my calories each day and had a great weight loss.  Why couldn't I stop myself yesterday?

Today I'm looking back, because hindsight is 20/20 I have a better idea of what I was thinking.

First of all, I weighed myself when I got home from work.  I was back at my last week's weight.  Well, duh.  I weighed myself in the middle of the afternoon - what could I have possibly expected?  (Hence the stupid goal not to weigh myself.  I think I'm going to talk my husband into hiding the scale).

Second, my work day was awful.  It was a breakdown kind of day.  In fact, at one point I almost started crying.  The 2 1/2 hour show I write for is losing more than half of its staff - meaning my job is turning into three jobs on August 4th.  Plus, my weeks are going to turn into 6, 10+ hour days.  I've known about this for a week or so, but yesterday during a series of meetings it really hit me - I am losing my life to a job I marginally like.

Third, anxiety.  I was feeling really anxious about my blog design.  I hadn't talked to my designer that day.  I was just anxious wondering when would it be done, when could I show it off.

It's really obvious that all these things played a role in my cracker frenzy.  Luckily I went for these crackers and not the pie sitting in my fridge.  I added an extra 300 calories to my diet that day, but my life's not over.  I'm dusting myself off (literally, there were cracker crumbs everywhere) and getting back up for the next leg of the weightloss road.

The crackers didn't solve one problem.  The only thing in my life it put a dent in was, well, the package of crackers.  There's still 4-6 weeks (my news director's estimation, so really 4-6 months) of stress ahead of me.  Since self-medicating with crackers isn't helping in the least, I'm making a game plan.

When stress kicks in I will:
-watch a movie/read a book
-sleep (I know running away from my feelings, but it's better than drowning my stress in ice cream!)
-talk my husband into taking a walk
-take a bath with the works

Any other stress-releaving ideas - ways to escape?  I'm gonna need it - I already need it!



I think the best part of the binge is the realization that came out of it. What drove it, how to cope next time. And I admire you for not feeling guilty and for putting those 300 calories in perspective:)

The Binge Diary

Also, just think that this binge is SO not that bad. It is progress and NOT perfection. You realized your mistake and now its time to move on!! :)

Amber Raza

keep sharing these types of things Thanks.


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