Day 8 - LEAVE. ME. ALONE.

It's day 8 of my 60-Day Challenge. So far, I'm doing pretty good. I went on vacation and got a visit from "mother nature" - meaning exercising went out the window. However, I did not go over my calories any of the days.

Today - I'm being haunted by chocolate. Hence the title of this blog post, "leave me alone." Chocolate is everywhere I go, everywhere.

When my husband first went into NA (Narcotics Anonymous) I went to a few outpatient meetings. I remember feeling so bad for the alcoholics in the meetings. My husband and I had dozens of conversations about how he was lucky that he wasn't an alcoholic. Alcohol is 1 - everywhere and 2 - socially acceptable (and sometimes it even seems socially required). Alcohol is used in business and pleasure. One girl in the meetings was a young professional - hooked on alcohol. She would talk about how she wanted to go on a work retreat to the wine country and wanted to hang out with clients and colleagues at the bar. She quickly followed that with the admission that she didn't drink like a wine connoisseur, but instead downed full bottles of vodka in her bedroom.

I think I felt so much emotion for these alcoholics because I identified with them. I understood what it's like to have my drug of choice everywhere.

Today I went to the grocery store. My goal - no junk food. I went aisle through aisle, choosing fruits and whole wheat pasta. In the ice cream aisle I stared longingly at Ben & Jerry's and then chocolate chip cookie sandwiches (the same culprit that made me gain the Freshman 30). At that moment I could be strong, I grabbed some fruit popsicles and moved on.

Then - DOVE chocolates. I pictured myself going home, downing the whole bag. Another strong moment, I moved on.

If only that was the end. Headed to the checkout I saw smaller bags of DOVE chocolates sitting on an end cap. Again, I actually had to talk myself through it, tell myself I would not be buying them.

As if that's not enough. Then I had to stand in a checkout line for at least 10 minutes starring at the new MnM's with Pretzels.

I walked out of the Walmart with no chocolate treats. A little accomplishment that was not easy. Eacill h time I saw something high in calories and totally bad for me - I had to tell myself why I wasn't going to buy it. I had to tell myself I would not be able to eat just one or two. Today was especially hard for me. I cannot believe I had that much will power to say no over and over again. But I'm glad I did. Now I'm sitting at home surrounded by only healthy food. That means it will be a bigger deal when I do want chocolate - I'll have to get in my car, drive to the store, buy only chocolate - making it more unlikely that I'll do it.

3 comments:

Karen@WaistingTime

Thanks for visiting my blog:) When I read this I immediately thought of something I heard recently, I think from Al Roker on the Today show talking about his life post gastric-bypass. He said that you can live life without alcohol or drugs but you can't live life without food so how much harder that addiction can be. Great job passing up the chocolate!

The Binge Diary

Congrats! Little victories add up to make big ones!

Food Addict

Thanks for stopping by Karen - I absolutely adore Al Roker. I actually met him earlier this year - he looked great!!

The Binge Diary, thanks for the encouragement!

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