Not the Last Goodbye

Yesterday I made a cake. It was my last cake. Yesterday, I decided that I would eat the last piece of cake of my life. Yes, that's right. Forget the 60 birthdays I have coming up. Forget my husband's 60 birthday cakes. Right there alone -- I'm committing to foregoing 120 birthday cake opportunities. Plus, my future kids' birthdays and celebrations. There are so many cakes in my near future that I can't even count them on one hand. (2 weddings, the top layer of my wedding cake, court of honor, and graduations.) I can't even begin to imagine how many cakes I will see throughout the rest of my life. That's why it's even more unbelievable that I would make such an insane goal. A goal to never eat cake again.

Ummm... what? How can I possibly skip thousands of cakes in my future? With a goal like that I am simply setting myself up to fail. I'm asking to lose at this game, to feel like a loser, to feel I can't do it.

Today, I had a piece of cake. (yes, a piece of cake after what was supposed to be last piece). It was so delicious that I wanted to eat the entire cake. As I took my fork to grab another piece I thought, wait, I can have this again. I can have another piece tomorrow. I can have another piece any day I want. I threw the fork in the sink and my never-ending battle with the cake was over, at least for today.

Now, I've made a new goal. A goal to have cake anytime I want. I will never have a reason to eat a whole cake - not even 2 or 3 slices. Next time there won't be an end in sight - and I will be happy with one piece because I will know there are other pieces in my future.

I never have to say goodbye.


The Binge Diary

Good for you!!!! Sometimes I wish I could think like that!!

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